Blog cover for THE INSECURITIES OF A YOUNG ENTREPRENEUR

THE INSECURITIES OF A YOUNG ENTREPRENEUR

As a child, I never imagined that I will be running my own business at the age of 28. All I knew was that every time I was asked what I wanted to be in future, it went from being an Engineer to marring a Military man. My mother must have thought, ‘What kind of a child did I give birth to?’ But I guess, subconsciously, I was waiting on God to point me to the right direction.

As I grew older, I slowly started to notice my flair for drawing. I would be alone in my room and pick a pencil and paper and draw the Television set, the fan, the bed and any other thing that caught my interest.

Then I moved to story writing stories. I would be going about my business and imagine the lives of others – How they lived, what they were going through, what caused them pain, what made them happy – and so, again, I turned to my pen and paper and started to jot things down.

In my teens, my room was always littered with papers of either my writings or drawings.

Then that call for seriousness came when it was time to go into the University.

“What do you want to study?”, My mother asked me one more time, as she filled my Diploma form.

“Law or Economics maybe.” I responded, in my usual uncertain manner.

Something about my Ancestral history hindered me from studying Law and Nnamdi Azikiwe University did not permit Diploma in Economics, so I settled for Banking and Finance.

Half way into the course, I was bored sick of it. I tried several times to swap to Mass Communication but that never scaled through, so I came to terms with the fact that I would stay put and spend the next five years of my life studying a course that did not fascinate me.

Banking and Finance was not all bad and if my school would have had the decency to separate Banking from Finance and fix me in the finance part, that would have been bliss for me but that, also, never happened.

Anyway, as I studied, I kept my mind busy with reading, writing short stories, clubbing, working as a par time bartender to support myself through school and listening to my friends emotional and self-acceptance stories – I had to stay busy somehow.

Five years later, I was done with school and suddenly, I started to feel the itch to become a presenter for a Radio station. The thought of speaking into a Microphone made me so happy but my incessant stuttering and fast paced speech hindered me from walking into a radio station to apply for a job.

However, the one thing I know how to do when I have insufficient knowledge about something was to learn about it and so, I enrolled in a 5 weeks presenters training. As soon as I was done with that, I got a job as a PA and Social Media Manager for a Comedian, Ajebo.

The pay was not great but it was a fun job for me because I learnt fast how to sharpen my creativity skill because the creative industry is one that is governed by constant innovations. My boss almost always came in to work with one new idea or the other. He kept me busy and I loved it.

This went on for the next 8 months until my family thought it was a waste to graduate from Finance with a high GPA and work in the Entertainment industry. They told me they knew what was best for me and there was no future in what I was doing, so getting a job in a Finance house was a better way to run my life.

I was faced with my first life dilemma, as I loved what I was doing but being the last child of a respect-ruled family, I had to follow their instructions.

Two weeks after having the talk with my sister, I got a job with a Consumer Finance company as a sales representative. The job came with the stress of getting people to take loans every month but the joy of meeting new people every day and having conversations that engaged my mind, kept me going.

I grew really fast on the job but I got bored of doing the same thing over and over again. I tried to talk my boss into moving me to a different department, say credit analysis or fixed income trading but I mean, which boss is there that will cut short their sales just to fulfil an employee’s need? None, I guess.

Hence, my boss declined my request several times and I entertained the thought of opening a blog to post my short stories and random thoughts.

And so, I birth talk2urhommie.blogspot.com with all the fear in my heart that nobody will be interested in whatever I had to say but to my surprise my post got remarkable reception that I was pushed to post a second one and sooner posting on my blog became a very exciting routine that I did every Tuesdays and Fridays.  

No matter how tired I was from the day’s work, I had to get home and write for my blog because my audience were expecting to hear from me. I wrote it all – short stories, guide for Single Ladies, Movie reviews and any other random thoughts I had.

Until I could not take the boredom anymore and so I resigned and began my presenting career. Within the space of two years, I got carried away with creating video and editing them, that I stopped writing on my blog. I grew a community of 22,000 people on my YouTube channel and 32 thousand people on my Instagram page.

YouTube started to compensate me for the hard work of posting videos on their platform and it felt good to finally start earning income doing something I enjoyed doing, then the insecurities started to creep in.

Firstly, the fact that I had spend over 2 years creating videos, gaining technical skills like video and photo editing and soft skills like brand strategy, social media communication and growing an online presence, but I still was not earning as much as I was earning in my Finance job.

I went back to my drawing, to draw a feasible plan on how I can earn more money doing what I loved and the more I drew, the clearer it was to me that patience will be required of me and some Financial sacrifices must be given if I wanted my empire to be a reality.

This would have been easy to stick it if Instagram and Facebook was not built in a way that allowed you see the lives of your former colleagues and school mates.

A lot of them had written and passed professional examinations and gotten employed by multinational organizations. Some had saved up a lot of money and relocated to Canada or the US. I mean, it just looked like they were on a more certain path than I was.

Then I fell into the ‘What If’ pit.

What if my dreams and aspirations doesn’t see the light of the day? What if I am just wasting my time? What if government policies cripple my plans? What if years from now, I regret my decision to swap my Finance career for media? What if this, what if that?

In as much as this is a scary path to be on, one thing I am realizing is how far I am on the negative end of the spectrum.

I mean, what if my empire becomes a reality? What if I succeed? What if years from now, I am grateful that I changed my path? What if all my sacrifice pays off. Just What if everything turns out good for me. Who knows what tomorrow holds?

We are all victims of treading the unknown path of life and we owe it to ourselves to bet on ourselves that our cards will play out fine. And as a believer in God that I am, He has promised me an expected end; He told me that He will bless the works of my hands and that anything I do will prosper.

That should be enough assurance for me… and you.

If you are like me and you have taken your future into your hands and these kinds of fears are crippling you from doing what you are supposed to do. Let this write up be a source of encouragement for you.

These fears hit the best of us and I assure you, if deep down your heart, you believe in your dreams, then they are valid and it will turn out well for you if you find the time to read the Bible every day, do the work that is required and believe in yourself. Just do these things and see what will happen to your mind and work in the next three months.

Also, if you have been down this road and come out strong, please share with me what you did and how you did it. I sincerely need a new perspective to life

Thanks, darling, for lending me your ears, eyes and time and I hope you learnt a thing or two from my thoughts.

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